new lows. good lows.

sometimes i like to close my eyes and picture my house completely empty. devoid of things, of colour. it's calming, tranquil. there is so much peace without things, without distractions.

while we can't get rid of everything, we've made a significant effort over the last few years to really pare down what we need. letting go of the things we can live without. it's liberating. while the definition of need is a constantly moving target, i feel like once again we're hitting a new low. and that's a good thing. stuff we couldn't bear to part with a few months ago seems insignificant now. things that lurked in the back of closets, things tucked into drawers, things that often fell into the "out of sight, out of mind" category are suddenly coming to light. and we're finding the desire to let go, to make way for... space.

the new lows aren't just a change in stuff. we're reaching for new lows in spending, new lows in time commitments. creating margin, creating space. it's amazing how much we need space. physical space, mental space, financial space.

i want to take a bit of time everyday and intentionally do nothing. this evening we watched a storm roll in. is there anything as peaceful as a steady rain?

this is the table that matt built

not quite finished, but not too shabby for an afternoon. some stain and stabilizers next weekend and we'll be done!

my newest love

if you ever wonder why there are no nice things in your local thrift store... blame it on the employees. 

with our usual song and dance, my boss called me out to the truck to decide if an antique solid maple dining suite was junk. (he's not as fond of the antiques so he pretends to hate them and i pretend to be over the top offended.) but the dining suite could wait. i had just spotted the couch of my dreams. or at least the exact style i've been eyeing for the last three years. modern, chunky arms, lighter coloured upholstery (who doesn't have kids or pets? holla!). i told boss to put the couch in his pick up truck and head south. matt would be waiting to help him upload. he complied. he's a great boss. 

i may have danced a little a work. and later when i got home. i love it, i love it, i love it.   

and now i get to entertain more dreams! our old couch was the dark piece that anchored the room, now we're desperately lacking colour. new rug? new side table? a large piece of art over the couch? so much to think about!

all quiet on the western front

it's been quiet here. too quiet.

but i've been practicing the sound advice of thumper's papa... "if you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all." i haven't had very nice things to say and i really didn't feel like pretending. so i just stayed silent.

in the weeks leading up to january 1st, we set out our new year's intention of making this the year of better. what we didn't know was that a few days before the start of 2013 we'd find ourselves at the lowest point we've ever been. we hit rock bottom and we hit it hard. through no fault of his own and do to financial issues at the church, matt was laid off. his job, the church, the kids... they were our life. we uprooted ourselves from the east coast, from family, from everything familiar and comfortable and moved here for this job. and less than three years later it was ripped away. it hurt. and no matter how many reassuring "it's not your fault, don't blame yourself" conversations we had, it couldn't help but feel personal. after all, we poured all of ourselves into these people.

we had a lot of soul searching to do. this job, this church was our connection to this community. should we stay? should we look for another church? should we move back to the east coast just because? as much as we begged for neat, easy answers we've continually felt the call to simply wait. stay. be part of the community here as just regular old people. and that's what we're doing. employed or not, this is our church, our community, our family. we love them, and despite the difficult circumstances, they have loved us well.

maybe it's the start of spring, the first week of warm sunny days promising another summer is around the corner, or maybe because matt has successfully finished his first month at his new (non-church related) job and it feels like we're finally settling into a new normal, but for the first time in months i'm feeling hopeful. optimistic. i feel like we can begin to dream again, and not just focus on surviving the moment. i feel like talking - er, writing - again, and once again we have positive things to share.

this is still the year of better. we're determined! and really, it can only get better when you start at the very bottom!

new year's intentions

no list of goals, no unattainable resolutions, we have just one very simple intention this year...

to be better at the end than we are at the beginning.

hopefully that will be reflected through the months here as we strive to improve our home, our finances, our health, our relationships. we want to avoid complacency, but not overwhelm ourselves with expectations of perfection.

we are declaring this the year of better.

happy new year!

may 2013 be the best year yet!

merry christmas from the west!